Rachel Bonistalli

Saturday, August 11, 2007 was a landmark day for me -- I ran the furthest distance I've ever completed -- 14 miles and you all were on my mind keeping my feet moving. My time was very average (2:20:30), but I completed it comfortably and with no issues afterwards. I'm sure many of you are saying to yourselves, how does one complete 14 miles? That leads me to introduce you to my second honored teammate -- Amber Barrante -- because of her I feel fortunate for every stride every time.

Amber's story starts in August 1989 when their family (which also includes my mother's brother Tom Barrante, his wife Luann and Amber's older brother Justin and younger sister Alyson) were on vacation. That was the end of the summer before my senior year of high school. I remember my mother saying Uncle Tom called to say that during their vacation Amber had been listless, running a fever and uncomfortable so they were taking her to the doctor. For much of my cousins' young lives they were plagued with bone tumors that impeded their normal bone growth so they often had operations to reduce the deformity and disability to their joints and bone systems. So, I remember thinking it was probably no big deal compared to that. Never did I think my 8 year-old cousin would have a diagnosis of Acute Lymphomic Leukemia. She immediately started chemo. So while I was worried about stupid high school stuff of how my hair looked (I've always spent a ton of time on my coif) being a cheerleading captain, which college to go to from my acceptances and who I'd go to the senior dinner-dance in the fall and prom in the spring with -- my little cousin was starting a three year chemo treatment plan. I remember thinking, what can I say or do for this child who has had so many challenges already when I've never been confronted with such things?

Well, Alyson who was merely 5 or 6 when Amber's hair and skin were discolored was much more compasisonate than my self-centered teen self was. Amber's hair became yellow, limp, clumpy with her scalp showing where the hair had been depleted and it was just getting worse daily. In my narrow view of the world, bad hair was like death let alone being sick and having no control over that -- I always hated my hair and I was perfectly healthy -- how does a child deal with illness and a crumbling appearance? I will never forget the time we were sitting at dinner and my mother shared what Alyson said to my Aunt Luann. I believe it happened like this: Alyson went to her mother and said "Mom, can I get my hair cut like Amber? Because then she wouldn't feel so different from the other kids." Not sure if that is because Amber endured comments or issues with kids at school when she could go during her treatment. I remember being puzzeled about how to relate to my dear little cousin at this time and being ashamed that her sister so many years my junior knew and was fully willing to, but I struggled trying not to show pity as her appearance was distorted and her day-to-day challenged frightened me. But that kind of compassion at such a young age astounded me and taught me a lesson I carry with me to this day. If I get even close to that in my lifetime, I will have achieved something worthwhile.

So as I progressed through the normal self-centered period of 18 to 21 with trials of going off to college, living in dorms, going to frat parties and figuring out how to do things myself as well as maintain my grades -- Amber fought Leukemia. I'll always remember the relief I felt when we learned she was in remission. It was a joy to watch Amber get back to normal -- she always was a beautfiul girl and she was able to shine again even more brilliantly when her hair grew back. She caught up in school and got to experience high school and got her degree. Today, she is approximately 15 years in remission at the age of 26 living in Pittsburgh working with her degree in recreation.

To this day though, I've gotten so much more from my cousin Amber than I've given. As a child she taught me strength, faith, determination, compassion and giving back to others. Last fall, Amber gave me even more. I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease exposure in September 2006 and I had to stop running in order to get better. Running actually is what depleted my immune system that was already challenged by the undiagnosed Lyme such that I was at nearly walking pneumonia in 3 days after a 10-mile run. I couldn't run for at least 30 days and that was indefinite depending on what my tests said and how I felt. While the doctors ultimately came back and said I didn't have Lyme, I was very sick and recovery was awful going from exhaustion to insomnia and no running. I didn't run from September 16 until February 2007.

So, it's Thanksgiving Day '06 and we're at my uncle's and Amber and I are chatting about work, apartment life, etc... and she aske me how I'm feeling. I share that the toughest thing has been not being able to run. She replied "You know, I'd love to be able to run. It's something you just pull on shoes and go do. With my hip and my knees I never could run. Right now, my hip hurts all the time and I hope having hip surgery before Christmas will make it so I can at least sleep without pain. But, at least I can rock climb and do the other outdoor stuff I love, so it will all work out. And, I'm sure when you're better you'll be running again." Those words have been ringing in my ears to this day and every time I run since the doctors gave me the green light. I'm not just running, I'm using a gift that I have -- one I could take for granted. So, even when I'm tired and it's the last 3/4 mile before finishing 14 and I just want to walk -- I think of Amber, all she has given me, put on a smile and keep moving.

Rachel

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